A long time ago, when going through some difficult times that I allowed to overtake every aspect of my life (including work), my supervisor (unhappy with my performance) sat me down and told me “You need to learn how to be where you are.” I remember this day like it was yesterday. I was a single mom putting myself through graduate school and having ex-husband, boyfriend, and money issues. All I could think about was life. Work needed to be tended to, and I definitely wasn’t “being where I was” in any part of life.

After that day, it didn’t take long for us to amicably go separate ways with me still not realizing what she meant from our talk. I moved on and found some other work. One day while sitting at my desk in a project trailer with all kinds of people around me (engineers, construction managers, technicians, other contractors, …), it hit me like a ton of bricks as someone was clearly not “being where they were.”  It was a light bulb moment. I thought to myself, go talk to that young lady. She needs to learn “be where you are.” I know it’s odd to think that in one moment so many things in life can become clear, but that was definitely a moment of clarity. From that point forward, in life and work, I began to practice “be where you are.”

WHAT DOES “BEING WHERE YOU ARE” MEAN?

Being where you are means being present in the situation at hand – truly listening, not “multitasking,” giving your full attention, concentrating on the task at hand, and yes, separating life and work (I know firsthand that this is overwhelmingly hard). It refers to mental presence and physical presence. Being where you are means literally being there.

For example, if you are at home with your children, put your phone down and pay attention to them; when you are with your partner, look them in the eyes, give them undivided attention; when you are at work, be at work – not with your ear pods in, or on your phone, or shopping on the internet, or doing other work instead of paying attention in the meeting. And sometimes, we need to be face-to-face at work. Some things cannot be worked out without being face-to-face. Not to mention, people need interpersonal interaction. So literally and figuratively, being where you are becomes that much more important in some situations.

WHEN WE ARE NOT PRESENT:

When we are not present or “where we are,” we miss things, we don’t give 100%, we aren’t “all in,” we are distracted. At work, safety incidents can occur, important parts of work omitted, rework created, or efficiency and productivity decreased. At home, we miss the important moments, and turn away our partners or children.

WHEN WE ARE PRESENT:

When present or “where we are,” it is noticed. People feel presence. They appreciate the attention to the subject at hand or to themselves or the work that is the purpose of our job. Being present will improve communication, attention to detail, accomplishment of goals, and can even improve recognition at work.

IT TAKES PRACTICE

Being “where we are,” is an important part of life and work. It takes practice, and it can be hard leaving work at work and home at home. Its ok that it takes practice. I still work on it 23 years later. Just keeping the thought in your head is a good place to start.